Scroll to the bullet points if you are too lazy to read.
-“I like long walks, especially taken by people that annoy me.”
Today, I have been seeing the earth’s dawn, its light, its dust and its darkness for 23 years. I lived at home in a nice room, mum made good meals and sometimes bad, dad traveled with me to the most awesome places and to the most random ones. I did all kind of sports, played the piano, hung around my grandparent’s house, went everywhere by bike. I liked the bakery’s sweet bread rolls, pasta and hot chocolate. I was righteous and sometimes annoying, I am a single child. I lived alone, abroad, in communities, in green and urban areas. I went to school, to uni, to language lessons. I made friends, let them go again, fell in and out of love, was hurt and everything happened all over again. Alone, I traveled as far as I could, and saw the most bizarre creatures, landscapes, and situations. I moved under the radar in subcultures not even describable as such. I went to the deepest parties and met the realest people. I had sex in all different places, with many different people, and none of it was boring, all was with a huge amount of love. I got scared to death and I have been inexplicably euphoric. I felt cold, warmth, sadness, and happiness. I cannot live without my friends and my family and they, at least, can count on me. I have been never quitting music, it still writes the soundtrack of my days. I found things I love and know the things I don’t. They fill my existence.
In short: It is a good life so far. But examining it from the outside, it’s similar to billions of other existences. It leads to the question:
What makes your life epicly uniqe?
I’d say, bros, it is not the different DNA. In the end, every DNA consists of the same molecules. They are aligned differently, yes. But this is only the predecessor.
Since the day I can consciously think, I have always decided for myself. One of my mom’s favorable memories about my childhood is how I strongly insisted to eat nothing but pasta with ketchup. I did so until my 13th birthday. Naturally, I was still a child: dependent, scared by the unknown, easy-to-convince and with a unbearably clouded head. But for the small part of my life of which its logic I already understood, I decided after my own logic. This part probably consisted at maximum of our flat, the way to the kindergarten and the kindergarten itself.
It is to be said, psychologically, we are entirely biased for every decision we make: They are never our real own ones. Our decisions are never proprietary. They belong to the situation. The people we target our decisions to own them more than we do. Own decisions are the greatest illusion of mankind: If you meet both a damn hot girl and an insanely ugly girl at the train station, and both invite you for a drink: Which girl would you go with? Oh yeeeh. I know.
Me as a child decided after heuristics that could be 100% explained. One would say, the childhood influences I had, the situations I’ve been in, the people I met, the love and the hate I was exposed to and felt, all these variables equal the behavioral outcome. I cry? Yeh, because I didn’t get the lollipop, mum was mean to me. I laugh? Yeah, because that guy upfront just fell over his own feet. The decision-making process corresponded to my affective reactions. I did not want eat anything else but pasta. Everything else simply tasted bad.
Growing up was less affective but also driven by decisions about the spheres of life that were accessible to me. Those thought processes had the following contents: Boys, music, friends, enemies that were friends before, parties, lemonade-mix-beers, building bongs out of Pringles-boxes, sex, only one valid music genre (hardcore!), excelling at sports, excelling in good-looking, excelling in being cool, seeing more than just the own room. Generally: Understanding how the logic of life functioned.
Here comes my idea: All the decisions we make, no matter if they are illusive or real, if they are independent or bound to another person: Doesn’t this make us unique?
We have been on the earth for so long. And every life’s outcome is: It ends.
Every description of someone’s life does not closely touch the essence of how it REALLY was. It is because we are the only ones understanding our own logic. We cannot see other’s reasoning, and we do not know where they come from, what they saw and what they experienced. Isn’t it even more astonishing that we are compatible to each other? We can talk, we can have sex with each other, and we like the same music. And still everyone has an own path. An ever-inexplicable mixture of historical events and DNA prolonged to our very end by the decisions we make.
Does that change anything?
No. But now we know that the only person we have to justify our decisions for is: OURSELF! YEAH!
Even though it is a comparably new development of history that humans are the one and only center of life (and not some god, some more gods or the sun), I’d say it suits me very well. Here’s the good thing. You don’t have to become a narcissist asshole just because your decisions make you unique. It works exactly the other way round. Just because I found out how to have an own identity, it doesn’t free you from responsibility for the people you care about. This idea rather makes you focus on the important things in life. Over the years of my existence, I tried to find a way to make the most of my life. Now, I can say that my life gets more awesome every day.
I am just a single person out of billions, and I am far from anything wise. I have seen bad things. But they have never been as bad as a majority of mankind experiences. The circumstances I have been born into made my life blessed from the start, and I am thankful for that. But my existence’s sweet flavor still develops. It feels like the beginning for 23 years now. And it’s still speeding up. The major reason for that?
It is 5 reasons, actually.
1. Find your stoke.
Find the things you love. Chances are that they don’t find you, and they are not easy to get. I wanted to surf since I was 15. I grew up far from surf. I tried it 3 years later. Now, I live 10mins walking distance from the beach. But there’s a greater thing I love: It’s excitement. Excitement is my biggest hobby. All things get me excited. Especially surf. And love. And my friends. And music. And yellow press magazines. And snowboarding. And fun. And MDMA.
2. Don’t do stuff you don’t want to do.
If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. I’m serious. It has little to do with money. Emancipate yourself from other people’s demand on your life. They don’t have shit to do in your part of the game. Don’t get me wrong. If you plan holidays with your friends, respect everybody’s decision. But make sure they don’t make your decisions.
3. Love for your people
You get it back. Always. More intensive. Go out, kiss as much as possible, have sex crazily, touch it, lick it, get down, all over again. See the awesomeness? Everybody is awesome. Go!
4. No redundancy
Save your energy for stuff you care about. Is it important to cry about that one guy that broke your heart? Yes. But get over it. Soon. If you don’t want to be heartbroken, don’t be. Is it important to talk that much? No. Shut up.
5. Never loose curiosity.The adventure is literally right in front of your door. I heard somebody made a cake in the kitchen. I heard it’s the best cake around. I’m outta here. See you tonight.